Active trauma

There are moments in our lives when we realize we are not remembering trauma.

We are inside of it.

This isn’t a memory.This isn’t a shadow from the past.This is happening now.

We are moving through active trauma.

Maybe you’ve healed before.Maybe you’ve done therapy.Maybe you’ve sat in ceremony, journaled for years, studied your patterns, learned your nervous system.

And still — here you are.

Your chest is tight.Your sleep is off.You’re hyper-aware.Or dissociated.Or swinging between the two.

You recognize the symptoms because you’ve done enough work to know what they look like.And now you want to help yourself in this moment.

We are at war — internally, externally, spiritually, politically — and no matter where you are in the world, it is a lot on the system.

Not knowing what’s next.Loud noises.The fragility of life hanging in the balance.The sense that something could change at any moment.

Your body doesn’t care if it should be okay.

Your body cares if you feel safe.

And all the guilt — for having done the work and still feeling discombobulated — is not failure.

It is a signal.

It means it’s time to hold yourself tighter.

Say thank you for the tools you have.They will make this easier to move through.

Remember.

What helps you?What makes you feel safe?

Is it a candle lit?Chamomile tea?Mugwort burning?Palo santo cleansing?

Where is your medicine?

Now is the time to use it.

Now is the time to fill your pockets and bras with crystals.Stick one in your belly button if you want.And when it falls out in the bathroom, laugh — and remember your love for yourself. Remember how much you’ve got you.

Have a drink with you at all times.Whisper calming, loving words into your water.

Water remembers.And when you drink it, it becomes you.

Mix your herbal tea with some magic.Light your candles to cast away the shadows of doubt in your mind.Let the fear and discomfort release back into the fire.

Call in protection in the names of your ancestors.Talk to your guardian angels.Pray what’s actually on your mind — not what sounds spiritual, but what is real.

And move.

Dear God, move your body.

Massage your limbs.Stretch your muscles.Dance and shake it out — especially when you don’t want to.

Do it by rote at first.Then with intention.Until you feel your body softening again.Until there is willingness to feel and release.

Active trauma is not the time to prove how healed you are.

It is the time to use what you know.

It is the time to become your own steady place.

You are not crazy for feeling activated in an activating time.

You are responsive.

And you are allowed to gather your medicine and hold yourself through it.

And remember —

You are not alone in this.

The simple fact that we exist at the same time as each other is medicine.

We have each other — even in the quiet.